Comfort and Joy: Articulate Your Holiday Values

Holiday time! How does that phrase make you feel? Excited   Blue   Exhausted   Anticipatory   Full of Dread   Ambivalent Take five minutes to stop and think: What do you WANT to do? What really matters to you as you celebrate? Grab a pen and paper and answer these questions. Be honest. With all the expectations of others, […]

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Red-Button Words! How to talk about Anger

“Anger can be valuable if we use it as an alarm clock to wake us up—to realize we have a need that isn’t being met or that we are thinking in a way that makes it unlikely to be met. To fully express anger requires full consciousness of our need. ~ Marshall Rosenberg After you […]

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Angry? Get Physical! (Non-violent ways to express anger)

A stack of spiral notebooks sits on my night stand. The pages hold my ideas, reflections, and feelings including my anger. I’m a huge believer in writing my way through anger.  Rage on the page is a great starting place. But writing is not the only way to process anger. There are times I need to […]

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Release anger the write way

Have you ever thought this, or said it out loud? “I just want to hit something” “I’m going to ignore that person so they know I’m mad” “Nothing good ever happens to me” “I am so alone, no one understands me” “I don’t care about my body I’m just letting myself go” “Why did I […]

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This is not a simple matter: to know you feel angry

The taboos against … feeling and expressing anger are so powerful that even knowing when we are angry is not a simple matter.” ~ Harriet Lerner Feeling and expressing anger is part of being human. But when someone says, “You’re angry!” it’s as if they’ve said, “You have leprosy!” We get defensive. We feel dismissed. We […]

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When my change makes you angry

I’m doing some things differently as I navigate through a time of deep Soul Work. I’ve stepped out of some established patterns and this is difficult for people I love. These patterns include: how we listen, how much we enable or give, how we respond in crisis, how we spend money, what our priorities are. […]

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Know your boogey man

Transitions move us into unfamiliar territory. New, unknown experiences often make us feel incompetent and self-critical. We believe that not knowing what to do is a character flaw. We are fearful that we don’t have what it takes to move forward. Criticism & Comparison Self-criticism dogs just about everyone. Most of us are hard on […]

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A Vocabulary of Feelings

This post is taken from our upcoming book The Small Guide to Life’s Big Changes. We recognize the importance of feelings and have dedicated several chapters to the value of feelings in our transition process and recovery. The grief and loss that come with BIG Change are difficult to discuss. These raw feelings are painful and […]

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Recognize Your Feelings

Your body responds to illness and injury with pain. The heart responds to grief and loss with strong emotion. Healthy people do not ignore physical pain. In the same way, people who transition well do not ignore emotional pain. We are a society attuned to treating physical symptoms, but emotional problems get ignored and turn into […]

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Hard Feelings: The ones we hate to share

I still struggle with sharing my feelings with others, especially in times of grief and disappointment. Stephen, my husband, is my to-go listener. He’s always willing to listen, safe, supportive. Rebecca is my next listener. She holds me in the light and validates my experience by her attentiveness. But when I’m really struggling through a […]

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